1.) 'Glee' finally gives Artie some screen time. This week's episode "Wheels" focused on the wheelchair-bound crooner and also featured pot cupcakes and a diva-off between Kurt and Rachel. AND it revealed that the formerly-evil Sue Sylvester has a soul! *GASP!* Did not see that coming. This episode also featured one of my favorite songs they've done so far: "Defying Gravity" from 'Wicked.' Looking back on it, I don't really know how they managed to fit all this into one hour of television. Skills.
2.) This commercial for Volvo. No, seriously. This is a real, live commercial, not some fan-made video mash-up. I am so amused by the fact that Volvo is actually going so far as to use clips from 'New Moon' to promote their cars. Maybe they should change their slogan to "Sparkly vampires drive Volvos. You should too."
3.) 'Survivor': Finally this lame season is getting interesting. Before the merge it was just a bunch of really stupid people getting wet and complaining (and occasionally putting other people's socks in the fire). Now it's down to ten stupid people who have idiotically named their new tribe "Aiga" for some stupid reason. But this week, Russell used his second "hidden" immunity idol. (Which he found, again, without any clues. Seriously, Mark Burnett? The giant hollow tree? A six-year-old could've found that without your stupid haiku clues.) Even though I'm pretty convinced Russell is the most evil person to have ever played the game of 'Survivor' (and that's saying something), it's still entertaining to watch him pull one over the obnoxiously cocky former Galu tribe members.
4.) Jones' Cheap Ass Prepaid Legal and Daycare. Hilarious.
5.) 'So You Think You Can Dance': I honestly couldn't tell you how I started watching this wannabe-'American Idol' dance competition show. (I think it had something to do with the fact that there's nothing else to watch on Tuesday nights.) I used to scoff at its stupidity, as well as the general idiocy of all dance-related reality shows. Now I just stick to insulting 'Dancing With the Stars,' which I legitimately think is 100% stupid. I mean, really, people, it's just an excuse for any has-been who can keep time to waste another few hours of your life. I'm talking to you, Donny Osmond. Pop culture is done with you. Please go away now. Meanwhile, SYTYCD follows the 'American Idol' formula of judges: one vain, sometimes-too-honest Brit, one certifiably insane female judge who probably has more than one substance abuse problem (she makes Paula Abdul look like the portrait of sanity), and a third generally neutral judge that no one really cares about. This past week, we got to see Nigel Thornberry- I mean Lythgoe- chastise an 18-year-old for being "immature." Come on, Nigel. We all know your ego is delicate but there's no need to verbally assault the kid for trying to appeal to his fans. Wow, now that I'm realizing how much I've written about SYTYCD I have to go drown in my own shame.
*Honorable Mention: Tim Gunn bakes cookies on 'Project Runway.' Tim Gunn in an adorable apron was enough to save this otherwise-boring pre-finale episode.