1) Organizational skills bordering on OCD
2) Exceptional Jim Carrey impression
3) Highly experienced blood donor
4) Seen every Edward Norton movie ever made (even Death To Smoochy)
5) Former Rock Paper Scissors champion and recipient of the "Fist of Stone" award from the Rock Paper Scissors Society, Yorktown chapter. (That's a true story. I have a plaque.)
6) Superlative(ly mediocre) Rock Band skills
7) Demonstrates extreme knowledge in the fields of Whedonology and Harry Potter trivia
8) Fluent in sarcasm
9) Severe lack of ambition and fear of change means I will probably never ask for a promotion
10) Ability to quote The Princess Bride with almost-obnoxious frequency
11) Received a degree in Awesome from the University of Your Mom
...Or maybe I'll just take a page from the Barney Stinson book of life and create my own video resumé. I guess all I can do is make myself look presentable on paper and hope I get hired as the result of some kind of clerical error.