Most of my disdain for first-years is due to my intense resentment of any and all fun that they may be having. I wasn't allowed to have fun in my first year, so why should they? ("Allowed" may not be the most accurate choice of words, but the overall outcome is the same.) I curse their carefree, perpetually excited well-adjustedness. ATTENTION FIRST-YEARS: Wipe that stupid grin off your face, learn to share the sidewalk (four people walking with arms interlocked = unacceptable), and for God's sake stop hogging all the advisors because apparently we are experiencing a shortage and some of us need them more than you.