#5) Minutes 3-6, 32-34 of Glee - The Brainiacs made it to the Decathlon finals! Thank God they bribed Brittany with Dots, because one of the categories was "Cat Diseases," and she dominated it. Sue formed her "League of Doom," which included Sandy "The Pink Dagger," and "Sergent Handsome." Like any good legion of evil, they have beepers. Later, Kurt, Blaine, and Santana were confronted by an angry Karofsky. After Blaine got all hot and shove-y with Karofsky, Santana stepped in and threatened to crack one of Karofsky's testicles, and mentioned that she has razor blades hidden in her hair (what a great self-defense technique, by the way). Blaine was right, they could have handled it, but it was more fun with them doing it together.
#4) Tom Hanks on 30 Rock - This man can do no wrong. He is a cultural icon. And in this week's 30 Rock, he appeared as himself at the very end of the episode. And he was crocheting. (Or possibly needlepointing, or some equally hilarious activity.) He then called Clooney on his emergency A-List phone line to tell him to take Tracy Jordan off the A-List, also mentioning that Brad Pitt is the group's webmaster. And this cameo came at the tail end of an episode that poked fun at movie actors who return to TV (like Alec Baldwin). But really, Tom Hanks could decide he wanted to play a rock in an elementary school play, and it would still be epic.
#3) This quote from Troy on Community: "You can yell at me all you want. I've seen enough movies to know that popping the back of a raft makes it go faster."- This was during the flashback to the gang's camping trip, one of the many exciting adventures I wish we could have seen all of, including their field trip to a ghost town and their battle with Mercury poisoning.
#2) Salvatore brothers smackdown on The Vampire Diaries - Who doesn't love a good brawl? Especially when it's between brothers. Who are vampires. In love with the same girl. My only complaint was that Elena broke up the fight too quickly. And the fact that both Salvatore brothers were fully clothed.
#1) Double Cougar Town - Okay, ABC, I forgive you for putting Cougar Town on hiatus while you tried to make Mr. Sunshine into a thing. You made it up to me with two fantastic episodes this week. Monday's episode followed Dancing with the Stars, so the cheeky title card for the show read, "Hi Dance Fans, please still be there." Monday's new episode also brought us the commercialization of Penny Can! Needless to say, it's the next big bar game. Darts are so history.
DISHONORABLE MENTION: Minutes 16-29, 36-38 of Glee - As much as I loved the bodacious alliance of Mercedes and Lauren (which came with the bonus of a rare moment of humility from Rachel), since when does Mercedes need lessons on how to demand respect? From what I remember, she demanded respect on the first day of Glee Club, when Rachel got up in her grill, and she declared, "I am Beyoncé! I ain't no Kelly Rowland." What happened to that Mercedes? (What am I saying? Since when are any of Glee's characters consistent?) Later, Mike Chang showed off his dance skills with a dance solo to a Jack Johnson song. (Full disclosure: I hate Jack Johnson.) I know he's really talented, but honestly, if you can't sing, maybe Glee isn't the right place for you. Maybe take the popping and locking over to So You Think You Can Dance.