WARNING: There are *SPOILERS APLENTY* below this line, so be wary if you aren't up to speed on all your shows.
Best Use of Poultry: Community - Only a show this amazing could make chicken fingers into a major plot point. Bonus points for referencing Goodfellas and Sixteen Candles in the same episode (not an unusual feat for Community).
"Awww" Moment of the Week: Esposito introduces Castle as his "other partner" on Castle - I love the partner dynamic on this show (and on any show, really), and it was great to see some character development from the supporting cast, namely Esposito. And it's wonderful to see that Castle has been fully integrated into their little police family. All together now: "Awww..."
Best Performance by a Lost Alumna on Another Show: Cynthia Watros on House - Her rivalry with House for Wilson's heart is absolutely delightful. And we just saw her on Lost last week, so she brought some residual awesomeness over to House with her.
Worst Performance by a Lost Alumna on Another Show: Sonya Walger on FlashForward - It's not really her fault that her character on FF is kind of a ho (AKA the opposite of the beloved Penny) and couldn't wait, like, a month after being separated from Joseph Fiennes to hook up with that British guy from Pirates of the Caribbean. But that was last week, so my picking on her is kind of cheating.
"Yeah, That's Not Going To Come Back To Bite You In The Ass" Move of the Week: Finn on Glee - Sure, Rachel lied about having sex with her boyf, but Finn lying about NOT having meaningless sex with Santana is one of those lies that will definitely return to wreak havoc later in the series. Then again, Finn isn't exactly known for his cleverness.
Achievement in Idiocy Award of the Week: JT on Survivor - Oh, JT... I used to think you were a great player, but why do you insist on so blindly trusting Russell, (arguably) the most untrustworthy player in the history of the game? Fortunately, JT looks like the lovechild of Matthew McConaughey and George Clooney, and he has a southern accent, so he'll be okay in life...just not in Survivor.
Awesome Cameo of the Week: Will Ferrell on 30 Rock - His three-second-long guest spot as the star of the fictional show Bitch Hunter was hysterical.
WTF Guest Appearance of the Week: Faith Hill on Project Runway - Why is the waning country star the guest judge in the finale of Project Runway? I mean, I get it, she wears fashion, but this is the finale, people. Couldn't we find someone who wasn't on the Worst Dressed list at the Oscars this year?
"Oh No They Didn't" Moment of the Week: Kurt and Mercedes join the Cheerios on Glee - Ouch. The sting of the defection of these two queens of sass to the Dark Side was worse than any slushie facial. But they do have a point: their vast talents are somewhat underutilized in the Glee Club, so maybe it's not wrong of them to want to do both.
Best Star Wars Reference: Hurley on Lost - He made an excellent argument that someone can be brought back from the Dark Side, citing Anakin as an example (albeit a flimsy one). Sawyer apparently hasn't seen the prequels because he responded, "Who the hell is Anakin?" Oh, Sawyer... You're adorable when you're snarky.
Best Made-Up Word of the Week: "Innovent," Jack on 30 Rock - Invent + innovate = innovent. The word is so perfect, it embodies itself. It is innovention. This word also applies to 30 Rock as a whole, which gets more hilariously innoventive each week.
Worst Made-Up Word of the Week: "Marooders," Damien on Parenthood - His brutalization of the word "marauders" was almost as sad as it was funny. His girlfriend Egg, I mean Ann, I mean Amber (Mae Whitman from Arrested Development) seemed appropriately amused and concerned by his faux pas.
Surprising Voice of Reason of the Week: Rupert on Survivor - So far this season, Rupert has pretty much been a lazy, obnoxious load of dead weight on the Heroes tribe, but this week's merge left the once-lovable pirate the only Hero with his head on straight. While JT was busy vying for the title of Dumbest Survivor Ever, Rupert was trying to convince him that Evil Russell was playing them (shocker!).
Runner-Up: Damon on The Vampire Diaries - You know you're in trouble when the evil brother is the one most in-control of his homicidal tendencies.
Corny, Scene-Ruining Line of the Week: "Looks like someone got their voice back" -Lapidus on Lost - Yes, this line almost negated all the warm-and-fuzzies we were feeling at the long-awaited reunion of Jin and Sun, but we forgive Lapidus because last season he had one of the greatest lines in the history of Lost: "We're not going to Guam, are we?"